April 5, 2019
Hello beautiful people reading ❤
I continue my story … that night after dinner I sent a message to someone special and close to my heart I hadn’t spoken to in a few months. He had been on mind the whole time we didn’t speak but more so since this health journey started, as I knew I needed to reach out and fill him in. He worked away and was in a different time zone so I didn’t expect to hear from him right away. He was pleasantly surprised to hear from me when he received my text the next morning. I didn’t want to tell him over text and simply asked if we could meet up the next time he was in town, as I had some things I wanted to run by him. He’s been through more health issues than anyone I know so it wasn’t entirely wrong!
He later told me he thought I was starting a business or something. Exactly how I hoped to come across. He raises bees with help from his family and it’s the best honey I’ve had in my life. He had stocked me up before we stopped communication and I was running low. I left my initial text ambiguous so I wouldn’t blindside him with “Hi I’ve been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and start chemo tomorrow. Can you hook me up with some more honey?” He later told me that’s pretty much what I sounded like…hehe oops.
The plan was for us to meet up before day one of my chemo so I could talk to him and fill him in. His flights back home ended up getting delayed so he wouldn’t be here until after my first chemo. I didn’t know how I would react to chemo and how I would be feeling or what state I would be in after chemo so I ended up telling him everything over the phone. I later learned he would always remember what airport gate and which city he was sitting in when I delivered the news…
We ended up connecting in person right after that first chemo and it was good and necessary and right ❤
January 27, 2018 is the date the breast cancer diagnosis was delivered to me. A week and a half later I met the Surgeon who would eventually be removing my breasts. A list of tests were ordered by her, and booked and completed within two weeks of meeting her. The only comparison I had to the process was when Mom went through her Ovarian Cancer treatment years prior (we lost Mom to Ovarian Cancer 8 years ago Jan 2011). At the time, there was one Oncologist servicing Northern BC. Sooo many positive changes to cancer care in our beautiful city and region since!
I remember that first meeting with Dr. S. I remember Nurse H was in that room and I had asked Laura and Neelam to both accompany me. Sumeet showed up too and we later joked about how he would show up uninvited to my appointments (all said with love!). The four of us sat in that small conference room with the Surgeon, the Student Doctor and Nurse H. We listened to what they had to say and asked questions of our own. We were there for hours. I met my Oncologist for the first time that day as well. I didn’t have an appointment but he was around and had a few minutes. I was interviewed by a Student Doctor, examined by the Surgeon, met the Nurse Care Coordinator, met and briefly examined by the man who would become my Oncologist. I remember it being a heavy day. I remember writing the following to my sisters/Laura/brothers in law the next day when I felt “less heavy”:
Yesterday was a heavy day for everyone. I read that when someone has cancer their family and everyone who loves them has cancer too. Thank you Neelam, Laura and Sumeet for stepping away from your other duties to accompany me to yesterday’s appt. I needed my people and having you guys there made a huge difference. I might have passed out from nerves otherwise lol.
Yesterday it was suggested it looks like 4-6 months of chemo, surgery 6 weeks after that (Dr. S recommends a mastectomy vs lumpectomy) and then radiation. That’s a lot to take in plus we learned we were sitting in mom’s old Oncologist’s room – that was trippy…
I am choosing to only think of things one day at a time. Not one of us knows what the future holds. This is a chapter in my life and not my story… speed bump vs road block (thank you Pinterest for all the inspirational quotes!!!)
I feel fortunate that I have my loved ones as part of my squad, my team, whatever you want to call it. You guys will be a source of tremendous strength so I need each of you to take care of yourselves mentally and physically so you can be there for me. I will try not to be shy to ask for help but sometimes I might forget that it’s ok to ask.
I don’t know what each day will look like but I will get through and overcome each and every day. Not just because I said so but because I have you.
My mantra will be one thing at a time one day at a time.
I’m happy I got to see the Oncologist Dr. W. I hear great things about him. He is from Vancouver and comes to PG weekly. Nurse H and I have spoken about three times since yesterday’s appointment and I’m glad she is willing to be my go to person to help me keep things moving and coordinated. Heck she even extended herself to you guys to call if we need anything. Dr S worked on Jaya’s Dad in another life of mine and I have heard excellent reviews on her since my stuff started. Dr. L has agreed to be my GP as I don’t have a family doctor. I feel very comfortable with him. He owns the walk-in clinic I go to.
I went for blood work this morning after working out with Kris. It was in and out. Not one person ahead of me. Well maybe there was but they took me ASAP. This blood work is to ensure my kidneys work fine prior to my CT scan.
Tomorrow morning after dropping J off at school, I am scheduled for an injection (something about phosphate, radioactive tag). I plan to hit up BodyFlow immediately after (they said I can eat drink and do everything as usual). I then have to come back 2-3 hours after for the Bone Scan (approx 45 mins). I had a massage I had to cancel for this (insert eye roll) but I would like to knock off as much as I can to keep moving forward and getting to next step(s).
They will book my CT scan after blood test results. In addition to a CT scan for my chest, abdomen and pelvis, I am awaiting calls for another ultrasound (axilla) and a diagnostic mammogram.
Nurse H called me yesterday to let me know when they do the mammogram they will insert a metal piece where the lump is (I still can’t bring myself to call it a tumour) … this is so that if the chemo works so good they will know where the lump/cancer was when they analyze my breast tissue.
I am to call Nurse H if I don’t hear back from everyone by Tuesday. We hope to have all the tests done by end of next week. After which, I will meet with the Oncologist at the cancer clinic for a chemo plan. Chemo scares me due to all the possible side effects but that’s where I remind myself to go one thing at a time one day at a time.
I felt heavy all day yesterday and feel lighter today.
I also had a couple of conversations with Jaya to keep her educated and informed in an age appropriate manner. I love my baby girl. She is smart and strong. Conversations with her will be ongoing.
As we learned with Nurse H, there seems to be a TONNE of resources available … makeup application techniques to wigs to family counselling to drivers for appointments etc etc.
I feel fortunate to live in a country where all this and more is available to me.
Hope each of you feel better. I know I do. Love each of you so so much and that’s all for now folks ❤
And thank you to all of you for reading this far! More to follow ❤
